So my brain has been everywhere the past couple days and mostly in the past twenty four hours. Why, you may ask? I have no fucking idea but it's driving me insane. Maybe it's because I don't have something specific that I'm looking forward to in the near future (unless you count getting out my wisdom teeth next Friday...which I definitely do not). I wrote a little on Monday but since then? Nada. Ziltch.
WHY, OH GREAT WRITING OVER-LORDS, WHY MUST YOU FORSAKE ME SO?!?!
I've been back almost a month so far and have little to show for myself which is greatly upsetting. I'm still sticking with the idea of finishing by the end of the summer, but how is becoming a scary and pressing question because I cannot seem to concentrate. Yup, taking my focus meds and everything, but nothing really makes me sit down and work.
I'm brilliant at talking myself out of almost anything and frequently I'll go to sleep, cursing myself for being a lazy fucker, and wake up thinking, "I have all day!" By 5 pm I think, "I have all night!" and so on. This, my friends, is a horrible cycle with which to get stuck, but alas I am.
Still missing Ireland, Cork, and my friends there like crazy and found some quotes while perusing on the inter-web. Some are cliche, yes, but all very true to me (if no author for the quote is stated, then it is anonymous).
~"May the road rise to meet you; may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of His hand." -Irish blessing
~"Unless one says goodbye to what one loves and unless one travels to completely new territories, one can expect merely a long wearing away of oneself and an eventual extinction." -Jean Dubuffet
~"You know you are in love when the hardest thing to do is say goodbye."
~"As I stared into your eyes, you asked me why I was about to cry. It's because I know you were going to say goodbye."
~"It's hard to lose someone you love, to finally say goodbye. You try to be strong, but the pain keeps holding on, and all you can do is cry. Deep within your heart you know it's time to move on, when the fairytale you once knew is gone."
~"We laughed until we had to cry; we loved right down to our last goodbye; we were the best." -St. Elmo's Fire
~"You and I will meet again when you're least expecting it. One day in some far off place, I will recognize your face. I won't say goodbye, my friend, for you and I will meet again." -Tom Petty
~(and, the most true and cliche of all:)
"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened." -Dr. Seuss
So I think those quotes are a fairly accurate summary of my feelings at the moment...all over the place, really. I am starting to feel, however, that the Irish weather followed me back home. It's been in the sixties, rainy, and foggy for weeks now. I know for a fact that it pisses most people off and yeah it can put a damper on my mood, but at the same time it brings a slight smile to my face because it makes me feel "at home."
I have a strange feeling that as soon as the weather is beautiful, that is when I'll feel compelled to write frantically. That, or when I'm high on pain killers from getting the wisdom teeth out. Looking forward to re-reading that writing.