This blog is a collection of a young woman's random thoughts, many tangents, and occasional
short stories and novel excerpts. Stay tuned for plenty of bull and brief moments of brilliance.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

"Lacking Any Wisdom She Once Had"

Yes, those were the words of my father at the pharmacy while we were picking up my pain medication after getting my four wisdom teeth out. This also was after he asked if I was thirsty...because I looked a little cotton mouthed. Thanks dad, thanks. He did, however, take out my first set of bloody gauze and for that I do thank him.

I've had horrible luck when it comes to dental matters. Many of my baby teeth were pulled because of over crowding. For eight years, I had braces on and off to correct an overbite and crossbite. The majority of my molars came in with holes, so I am no stranger to Novocaine or that god-forsaken drill. This procedure though was one of which I was frightened.

I went in this morning and one of the nurses helping told me she was new and that the dentist would be talking a lot through the extraction. I thought no big deal...right? Nope, I got to hear, in detail I may add, exactly what he was cutting, pulling, drilling, and breaking. Pleasant. Overall though it wasn't too bad and I'm still alive here.

Sitting on my parents bed with an ice pack on my cheek (propped up by my teddy bear so I can use both hands to type) and my computer before me. I was going to spend the day watching movies, but for some reason the fucking On Demand isn't working up here and I'm too lazy to relocate myself. What am I to do then? WRITE, GOD DAMN IT!

The time has finally come when I am forced to sit with nothing to do (ignoring the videos piling up on my queue on my Hulu account) except work on Autumn's story. I think I mentioned that I wrote about 400 words like a week ago which can sound impressive...except it's about a half page single spaced. More pathetic than anything, if you ask me.

The story is at a weird place right now in that I know where it needs to end up, but I cannot run to the finish line like a crazy fucker; this needs a slower pace. Trying to describe (without explicitly saying anything, of course) an emotional breakdown is difficult. How far can she fall at each step of the way? How much other stuff can I fill in between chapters? How do I display this pivotal point of the piece without ignoring my secondary characters and letting them become flatter than three day old soda?

I worry too much internal dialogue will make it seem forced, where as too much conversation will not only weaken what I've already created, but undermine the battle within her character that should be exposed. I do have some ideas to fill in between where I am now and Autumn's confrontation with Stacy:
~Dealing with her mother and the media.
~Going back to school.
~Hearing about the court case.
~Clinging to/pulling away from Jake.
~Avoiding her friends.
~More frequent and detailed flashbacks.
One of my better ideas is a shower scene in which Autumn freaks out that she is "unclean" and starts scrubbing her skin harder and harder, until she slips in the shower and sits curled up in her towel, sobbing. That display of utter despair will be fun and challenging to write, but right now is the awkward phase. The main problem with this though is it can't be awkward or readers will end up skipping through it. I cannot make it tedious since it's so critical to the plot.

Maybe I'll wait till tomorrow when I'm a bit less tired. The doctors say the pain is the worst the second day, so I'll be wanting to keep myself busy. Here's to hoping losing these wisdom teeth can help me fill in the blanks.

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