I gave myself two options moment ago: get another thirty minutes of sleep after two 6:30am work shifts in a row or write a blog entry for the first time in a month.
I'm crazy enough to chose the latter.
Why has it been a month? You tell me, because I sure as hell have no idea. I could use being busy as an excuse, but I even managed to blog briefly while traveling around Europe with few moments to have any internet connection. This I believe was because I didn't want to write.
Like many passions, there are things that take away that drive. Focus I have been lacking for a while now (apologies, Autumn Leaves), but drive I rarely lose. I haven't been very stationary the past month though, running around campus with some supposed purpose in mind. I wish I had something amazing to show for it but alas I do not. My grades for this semester will be complete shit which I already knew but am only now accepting.
My guess: Creative Writing--A, Fiction Writing--A, Film & Lit--B, Earth Science--C, Latin--F.
Good God, that looks pathetic written out like that, but thankfully the U of I second grade option will save my GPA when I retake Latin. The failing grade will be in there for now, but will be removed and replaced next semester. The title of this entry does not refer to exams (if it did, I would have hung myself by now) but rather semesters at Iowa, six in college in total.
I can hardly believe I only have three semesters left in college. Only a handful of papers remain in my future and exams will soon be a thing of the past. In honor of this, I am writing a mini-letter to past self for each semester.
Dear First Semester Freshman Molly,
I can barely think of what to say to you, you poser. Stop trying to fit into the hipster crowd because I can guarantee you that you do not belong. Please oh please get rid of that blue streak in your hair and invest in some makeup so people stop assuming you are sixteen years old. Leave the boys alone for a while and focus on those grades. As smart as you think you are, this is still college so shape the fuck up.
Dear Second Semester Freshman Molly,
You are growing up now, slowly but surely, but can you stop leaving such depressing Facebook statuses? In the future you can look back at those things (and your God awful poetry) and you'll wonder what was so horribly wrong in your life. I'm glad you're focusing on school and that you made the Dean's List. However, quit being such a drunk. Alcohol doesn't solve your problems and drunken makeouts do not make you cool. You are amazing without all of that.
Dear First Semester Sophomore Molly,
Wow, you've really matured a lot and I'm proud you decided to join a sorority. You're focusing on you, that's great, but remember to live in the moment more instead of living for next semester. You need to value the time you have with your sisters now; you'll miss them after not seeing them for eight months. Invest in some nicer clothing please and maybe a blow dryer. You're beautiful but I want you to start embracing your beauty.
Dear Second Semester Sophomore Molly,
Holy fuck you're in Ireland. Okay now, calm down, wipe away those tears. You're going to love it there, I promise. Those girls, Alicia, Cassie and Natalie? They are your lifeline and your soulmates. Don't take for granted all the incredible sights you will see while traveling. I'm glad you "found yourself" and learned to relax for once. Also, way not to learn anything the entire semester...I'm almost impressed.
Dear First Semester Junior Molly,
Hi! I can see your face! Kidding, that's creepy. But seriously. You need to go to the Calvin Hall now and drop Latin, go while you have the chance! Too late? Oops. Honestly, you're smart even if you don't always achieve perfection. It took you a while, but I'm glad you like your sorority house. And that Eldon kid: hold onto him. I'm thinking he's a keeper. Oh yeah, blog more often next semester. It's a great way to avoid studying but still feel productive.
Love Always, Molly Jane