Alright now, I have a confession, one I've been keeping secret for years. I deny it with self-deprecation and all but the signs are there and it's time the truth be revealed.
I'm under this strange impression I'm a good dancer.
What? How is this possible? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? Well yes, obviously, but that's beside the point. I have thought it for years and for some reason can't shake it even though I know it's not true.
I enjoy learning Lady Gaga dances, many of which I've recorded and posted on Facebook. I always preface it by saying I know they're horrible and only for laughing purposes. But secretly? I think they're awesome. I spend hours practicing and perfecting the moves I usually destroy in my performances. I pay attention to the clothing, lighting, and setting as though I'm a real dancer.
I can say I did ballet for four years, jazz for two, and hip hop for a summer. I was in the Nutcracker as an angel at the age of eight. Sounds decently impressive for a girl who seriously lacks coordination, right? Wrong. This may be a bit of false advertising even if it is true.
I did do ballet but from the ages of four to eight and I'm pretty sure the majority of those first two years consisted of running around with streamers. The third was probably walking in a circle practicing my plié. Only in the last year I'm guessing did I get into anything somewhat substantial with battement, jeté, and pas de bourrée (and yes, I was on Wikipedia "Glossary of ballet" to remember these terms).
The Nutcracker thing may seem a bit impressive and yes it was my only professional role and first stage production, but keep in mind I was eight. I did less on that stage than my actual classes. However, I was hella adorable in that pajama suit and giant wings. I loved the year I was in the Nutcracker and stayed in ballet after that only to be in it possibly again.
The next year though when the company came to our ballet school, I did not meet the height requirement to be an angel still but was too short to graduate to a higher role. "Next year," they said. "Fuck no," I thought. I'm almost certain that next ballet class was my last and I was relieved. At the same time though I missed ballet and was envious of my sister who continued and was in the Nutcracker later in large role.
Later on I took jazz which I loved but hated actually going to class. In retrospect I should have realized I'd have to go to classes for a long ass time I didn't want to and that sometime in the future, there would be little regulation of my classroom attendance (i.e. college). Regardless I lasted two years with jazz and was again jealous of my sister who did tap and was quite good; she is the one with rhythm out of the two of us which is good since she's a Music Education major.
The summer in hip hop...will not be discussed. It's for the best.
After all this though I think I'm vaguely impressed I have any rhythm even if it's minimal at most. Why do I think I'm a good dancer? Beats me, but one of these days I think it will dawn on me how bad I am. It may take one of my friends recording me dancing at a party or club. That's where the sad moves really kick in.