This blog is a collection of a young woman's random thoughts, many tangents, and occasional
short stories and novel excerpts. Stay tuned for plenty of bull and brief moments of brilliance.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Pretty Nails and Finals Panic

I say "pretty nails" because I'm currently obsessed with my new manicure: it's this pale baby blue color with a sparkly magenta on the ring finger nail since that's the in thing right now I guess. Pretty nails can definitely brighten up your mood of which I am in need.

This past week kind of sucked overall. On Monday I skipped my first class since I felt like shit last weekend after a bit too much partying and having a bit of a cold I couldn't shake. Tuesday, I woke up early to finish a paper, went back to bed for a half hour more, and then woke up at 10:30am meaning I overslept my first class. Later Tuesday I found out the apartment I was supposed to get in the fall suddenly wasn't being rented to me anymore since the landlord didn't "feel like it." Then I showed up to a lecture for my scholarship that was mysteriously canceled without any of us knowing...and I kinda blew up.

Wednesday was fine, no real complaints. Thursday, my best friend was super pissed at me (rightly so, I fucked up) and I overslept my first class AGAIN because my alarm didn't go off. After our Greek Week celebrations, I walked home when it started pouring rain. I made my boyfriend come pick me up and take me back to the frat house since I was so upset. Friday I skipped my first class since I wasn't feeling well again (seriously, this cold is way too on and off) but Friday night was fine and Saturday I had fun too. Today didn't feel well again and called in sick for work (which I hate doing but I hope my bosses realize I just have a shitty immune system and I'm not a flake) but we had senior wills in my sorority today so that made my day better.

Out of all the grade levels, the seniors seem to like me the most and it will kill me to see them leave. Six or seven of them gave me gifts specifically and I felt insanely special to know they thought of me. Also though, it made me realize how emotional I'll get this time next year when I have to say goodbye to my sorority sisters and all my university friends.

In about a year, I'll be graduating from the University of Iowa and getting my BA in English.

That doesn't even sounds real, seem real, feel real, but it is. How can I be graduating already? All that stands between me and graduation is two major classes, three classes for each minor, a couple electives, and last level of Latin. "It's happening way too fast," I keep telling myself, "I can't graduate yet. No way."

I'm 21, have supportive friends, a fantastic boyfriend, a loving family, a great sorority, and decent grades. I'm proud of how well I've done in college and how I've learned the concept of having a social life to some degree. Even though I'm not sure exactly where I'll be off to in the summer of 2013, I'm excited to find out where I'll end up with my life.

People keep asking me more and more what I'm doing with my life BESIDES writing and that's the trickier question because I have no concrete answers. I say it depends on where I am a year from now, mainly romantically. If I'm in a committed long-term relationship, that will have a lot of influence on where I go.  Because of my major I can essentially go wherever I want after school and would be willing to "follow my man" if his career path was more defined.

If I'm not for one reason or another, I want to end up in Milwaukee or Chicago, probably Iowa City for a couple years at first. Even though it's been two months I could see myself still with Alex this time next year, but if I am single I'll float around. I want to start a family by the time I'm thirty and that gives me a good eight years or so to figure out what the fuck I'm doing. I'd miss Wisconsin, I really would, but I also love the atmosphere of the Chicago area.

More on my mind right now are finals, this summer, and fall housing. Fall housing is still entirely up in the air but I'm not that worried since there are plenty of options, even last minute. For finals I have one in Shakespeare, one in Latin, and that's it. I have a final showcase in Performing Autobiography, scene performance in Basic Acting II, and a reflection paper in Religion and Pop Culture. Not too bad for the end of the year...and yet somehow I'm still stressed...but why?

Maybe I get stressed this year regardless of a need for a good reason. I have a lot of shit to do still and no motivation to do any of my work. I have an in-class writing I should prepare for briefly tonight and write my Shakespeare paper tonight as well since the night before it's due is my anniversary with Alex. Then, read about Afrofuturism, but I'll probably do that before the paper because I won't want to write about the meaning behind suicides in Antony and Cleopatra.

Plenty on my mind, not enough focus or drive, cliche words always...all the usual it seems. A little quote for today though:
"You're only as strong as the man beside you, the sisters behind you, and the heels beneath you. TSM."

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