This blog is a collection of a young woman's random thoughts, many tangents, and occasional
short stories and novel excerpts. Stay tuned for plenty of bull and brief moments of brilliance.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Almost a Month into Summer

I'm almost a month into my summer now and don't have much to show for it besides my first big paycheck coming tomorrow. I've written about three pages of Autumn Leaves and worked out twice...not that much really. However, the summer boredom that forces my work ethic usually has not sunken in yet.

I'm getting used to now the thirty hour work week and I even picked up two extra shifts this last weekend to make up for some shorter shifts I took to give more hours to other people. Everyone wants hours in the summer and I'm glad to have the ones I do, so I'm more than willing to throw a bone to some of my fellow coworkers who have taken hours for me during the school year without anything in return.

Alex is working at his "big boy" job with the insurance company and enjoying it thus far from what I can tell. We talk a bit every day and see each other on the weekends. Yeah, sometimes when I lay down to go to sleep I'm sad he's not next to me, but most nights (if it's Tues-Thurs) I'm exhausted and give zero fucks as long as my head is on a pillow.

Money...that has been the biggest hurdle of this summer so far. I made the same mistake in Ireland last year: thinking I could live on 50 bucks a week. Correction: it's more around 75-100 a week realistically. I'll save a bit this summer but most likely break even. That's sad to think about for long so I'm not dwelling on it; I have the school year still and a pay raise on the way to help fill in the gaps.

It's only 70 days until work week for my sorority recruitment preparations. I'm the head of the logistics committee this year, meaning I oversee a team that keeps track of the behind-the-scenes aspects. I think a lot of non-Greeks would be surprised how much time and effort goes into recruitment. Being downstairs working with paperwork and beverages allows you to see how hard your recruitment team is working.

Working behind-the-scenes is a double-edged sword. On one hand, you get to jump in and fix minor problems to make everything run more smoothly. On the other, you don't get to speak one-on-one with the potential new members and feel a bit lost on Bid Day. This will be though my second year in the background so I know what to expect. I'm proud to be the head of the team and am actually looking forward to August.

Autumn Leaves is my main stress point, besides money, at the moment. I'm lacking the motivation and drive to finish this project. I know it's lurking there somewhere in the back of my mind, but finding it is the challenge. I can make the time for it, absolutely. It's easy though to give up for the day and flip over to Pinterest or Facebook.

It's like doing laundry. What a wonderful feeling when all your clothes are clean and warm right out of the dryer...but first you need to do it. Taking cash specifically out of the ATM to walk to a convenience store to get a bunch of quarters, packing up all you clothes, having a chunk of time to get it all done, and finally folding it is annoying as hell. Unlike writing though, I have very real repercussions if I don't do my laundry. For instance, my uniform will be unsightly, I'll have no clean underwear, and I'll smell like shit from re-wearing outfits.

With writing? I'll feel horrible about myself and wonder why I'm such a fucking failure, but then I'll find that one beer lurking in the back of the fridge and be fine. No harm done at the moment. I need someone to yell at me for not writing after work and on Monday nights. I need it to be a friend who doesn't mind me yelling at her for lecturing me.

...yeah, I know a couple people. Hell, I'll even pay them in shitty poetry to do this for me (or even better, the promise of a lack of shitty poetry coming their way).

I'm looking at my Starbucks coffee cup, wondering why it doesn't magically refill. I see my cell and am dying for someone to text and offer to take me out to a free dinner. I see Facebook with two notifications but am guessing their boring. I see the flowers my friend's boyfriend bought her and would like some myself *cough cough*. I see how empty our apartment is and wonder how the hell I'll pay for furniture in the fall. And I see my reflection in my computer screen, and wonder why I'm not manically typing something more productive.

Damn it.

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