I took Alex home with me this past weekend to see a Brewers game and visit my hometown. As I've said before, I'm not that fond of Whitefish Bay but do love Milwaukee very much so. While Alex and I wandered the streets of my suburb, I suddenly remembered a funny, happy memory. Here it is:
The Tree House
We walked past *Jacob Lee's house (not real name) and I saw his tree house. Now this tree house was the coolest fucking thing in the entire world. His dad was an architect and decided to spare no expense to make a cool house for a middle school-aged boy. The thick tree goes right through the middle of the house, which looks like a cottage for midgets. It's a light blue color and had electricity. Definitely the talk of Whitefish Bay Middle School when I was young.
When I was in 6th grade, Jacob had started handing out buttons that said: "I've been in Jacob Lee's Tree House." It took me a couple weeks to gather the sexual undertones of these small quarter sized pins. I envied the girls who had them on their jackets and book bags. I was a horribly awkward preteen girl and was definitely not invited to makeout with the gorgeous Jacob in his tree house (which is what people said happened up there).
A girl I knew offered to sell me one of her pins (she had three...middle school whore...) for five bucks and I of course jumped on the opportunity. Everything was fine for a week or two as I walked around the school feeling badass even though my lips had not touched a boy ever. Yet after a while my mom noticed the pin and I noticed shortly thereafter that it was missing. My mom confronted me, asking, essentially, what the fuck I was doing in Jacob's tree house. When I told my mom I had never been there, she asked why I had the pin then since mothers had figured out in the community what the pins meant. I said I bought it off a girl...and she told me that was really stupid.
Guess mom realized how lame I was going to be, even at the age of eleven. So yes, in 6th grade, I figured out it was better just to admit how inexperienced and awkward I was instead of going the "Easy A" route and pretending to be a preteen slutty fan-girl of the boy in a rock and roll band with the tree house.